Appreciate your opposite!
Forget the battle of the sexes. When it comes down to gender issues (and yes, we ALL have gender “issues”), men and women each bring something unique to the collective bargaining table. But in the heat of life and business, it’s easy to overlook the benefits of men and women being different – we’d rather see those differences as negative. Well, this morning I’m going to turn your head in another direction and give you a list of three things that men and women each do that they do better than the opposite sex! Now, these aren’t absolutes or stereotypical characterizations – they’re tools to help you change the way you think. Last week, we talked about the value of having a trusted business colleague to bounce ideas off of. Well, this week, I’m that person and I’m going to share some fun tips about men and women in business and in life!
Three Things Men Do Better than Women
- The Technicals - From installing a ceiling fan to figuring out why the back door is making “that noise,” men are just good with tools and gadgets. They’re raised with them – they take shop. Gals took home ec.
- The Research – Guys activate that hunter instinct and will tell us what kind of car we should buy, the best schools in the area in which we want to live and can find most anything we task them with finding. They love to hunt, gather and bring it home.
- The Solving – Men are problem solvers. Not to say that women aren’t, but it goes along with The Technicals. If something needs fixing, they’ll get it done.
Three Things Women Do Better than Men
- The Listening – While guys are great at fixing, sometimes things don’t need to be fixed. They just need to be heard.
- The Translating – We are great at hearing one thing and distilling the meaning. Granted, we are excellent at jumping to conclusions as well (not so great), but it goes along with our listening skills. We can hear, distill and then come out with something on the other side with great prowess.
- The Organizing – Maybe it’s our maternal instinct, but women can rally a crowd, plan a wedding, throw a fundraiser or get 16 kids to a little league game on time. We’re great at nurturing and every good organizer is a pro with taking care of the details.
Now, before I get the reaction from some of you as I did from some of my best girlfriends, let me explain. These differences correspond with the years of research done by Carol Gilligan, the foremost leader in gender differences in the world. (I had the privilege of training with one of Carol’s colleagues early in my career.)
Carol’s research shows that men speak in the voice of ‘justice’ and women speak in the voice of ‘care.’ Each ‘difference’ translates into leadership, consensus building and influence methods that you use everywhere in your life.
I want to ask you – what’s one thing that you think men do better than women and vice versa? We all see situations differently and it’s great if we can appreciate the people in front of us for how they’re built instead of who we’d like for them to be. Share with me in the comments section! Forget the battle of the sexes: how about a consensus?
Negativity is contagious. If you disagree then I have some property to sell you in the middle of the Arctic Circle! In my last blog post I talked about the consequences of keeping negative people in your life.
Seriously, what people think of themselves, their circumstances, or you can affect what you think about yourself, your circumstances, or your thoughts of others. It’s a law of human nature. If you surround yourself with sweet you smell sweet.
If you surround yourself with sour you smell sour.
But here’s the difference between negative and positive statements; the negative statements cause the greatest shifts in our thinking and behavior. Not only from good to bad, but bad to worse. Another law of human nature. This has all the trappings of group think.
You see, the opinions of others exert strong influence on your attitudes particularly when their opinions are negative. This impacts your perceptions. When your perceptions are faulty or negative you lose out on life. On the future you are striving to move toward.
So what can you do if you find yourself surrounded by negative people?
Follow these three steps:
- Teach yourself to recognize negative people – the words, the actions.
- Lower (or lose) your toleration of negative people – they are not allowed to cross boundaries – at any time!
- Dis-invite them from your life – immediately!
Now, some of these (or all of these) may sound a bit harsh. Great! The only sure thing to combat negative people is harsh, no-holds-bar action. Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from the noxious effects of their negativity. This is a sure sign of how much you value you.
Being a person who has the capacity to influence others is big stuff. Sometimes we forget how much of an impact our actions or words can have. I like to think about our influence as either perfume or poison. One is uplifting and pleasing. The other is toxic and hurtful.
Here’s an example. When I was 16 I landed my first office job. I was an assistant to the office manager for a water well drilling company. Everything was a bit scary – telephones, field radios, typewriter, accounting ledgers, 10-key calculator, and the men that came to the office from the field. Being a quick learner, it only took me a few days to master most of my duties.
However, the 10-key was a challenge for me. The office manager was an older woman who had little patience for a girl that lacked total and absolute perfection. She huffed and puffed, sighed and rolled her eyes. I could handle that. What I will never forget is that she saved my most glaring mistakes for when one of the men came to the office. One of the guys might come for help with a payroll question or need a form for a bid. While I was providing assistance, the office manager would announce some [Read More]
Throughout history, the mother and daughter relationship has been a give and take or a push and shove relationship – depending on where you’re standing. Sometimes these relationships are terribly strained ending up in a stand off when the daughter is in her forties or fifties.
“I love my mother, but she drives me crazy!”
Does this sound familiar? And then there’s that tiny twinge of guilt.
How much do we love our mothers?
- 88 percent of adults say their mother has had a positive influence on them.
- 92 percent say their current relationship with their mother is positive.
- 88 percent of all mothers say their family appreciates them enough.
- 60 percent of women say their mother was more influential than their father, compared with 45 percent of men.
Even though we cut the umbilical cord there still is a strong connection. So strong that 80% of women at midlife say they have a good relationship with their mother – but wish it was better.
Wish it was better? If that’s the case then do it. Why would you settle for less than what you want? You have the power to influence any relationship – why not one of the most important one – with your mother? [Read More]
