How do you find the middle ground in work-life balance?
Is work-life balance really a myth? Every now and then, I pop over and read the fabulous musings of Cali Yost. She’s an expert blogger on the work-life subject for Fast Company and hosts her own site at the Flex+Strategy Group. I like Cali’s content. And I agree with her: work-life BALANCE is something of a myth. She prefers the phrase “work-life fit.”
Fit. I like that. After all, have we ever, for a single day, truly had “balance” in our lives?
Corporations preach it in their recruiting materials and employee benefits books. Day cares and preschools offer to help us out with it. But if I concede that there’s not really a balance and it’s more of a “fit,” then I think we’re well on our way to making some progress in these days that we live that are brimming with non-stop activity.
It’s pretty simple to see when things are off-kilter: we stay at the office too late, answer emails at odd hours from our smart phones and our voicemail inboxes fill up like the laundry basket.
I put together three tips that you can start using TODAY to make your work-life balance a bit more balanced. Put on your life like it fits and stop trying to button that top button when you had the extra helping of your neighbor’s awesome potato salad at the picnic last night!
Work-Life Balance Tip #1: Take Lunch
Yes, I’m crazy. And I’m telling you to take lunch. Whether you work from home or in an office, step away from your work domain for a minimum of thirty minutes. Stop scheduling conference calls during lunch. Don’t answer your phone. Don’t respond to emails. Unplug – and see how much easier it is to plug back in.
Work-Life Balance Tip #2: Hard Stops
Not unlike taking lunch, give yourself a “hard stop” at least two days a week. This means that at 5 P.M. (or whatever time you determine), you call it a day. Not five minutes later and no excuses. Go DO SOMETHING (and enjoy it). Your inbox will still be there in the morning (and your family and friends will thank you).
Work-Life Balance Tip #3: Ask for Help
If you’re simply afraid that you can’t get everything done and the act of trying is what’s putting you off-kilter, ask for help. Hire a virtual assistant, a house cleaner or one of your teenagers to do some of the running around.
Whatever the solution, asking for help doesn’t have to be expensive or worst of all, humiliating. It can be empowering and free you up to do the things you both need and want to! Take a tip from one of my previous entries on how to offer support. It’s easier to lend and GIVE support than you might think!
I just love doing things wrong!
I really do love being wrong. I relish it, I wait for it and embrace it every time it walks into my life. I greet Wrong with a smile and if it were possible, I’d buy it a mimosa at Sunday brunch. Now, I don’t go out of my way to BE wrong, mind you, but when Wrong shows up at my door, I don’t look through the peephole and pretend I’m not home.
Over the years, I’ve discovered a certain power in being wrong. Remember when we were kids – teenagers, even. We couldn’t imagine not being 100% right all of the time! If anyone told us we were wrong, well, they were just…WRONG. I don’t know about you, but as I traveled through Life’s School of Hard Knocks, I came to realize something:
Wrong is Right.
When you open the door to being wrong, you find new ways to be right. That’s reason number one I love being wrong.
Reason number two is this: when you’re wrong, you can try again. Being wrong is life’s little mulligan. A do-over. And half the time, the work is already done for you when you’re wrong (because someone’s done it right and all you have to do is catch-up). Now, I’m not advocating you don’t look both ways before crossing the street, but there aren’t many types of wrong that aren’t recoverable. I love the do-over.
The third reason I love being wrong? That’s easy: I love learning. If I could be wrong about something every day and have a new Right presented to me, I’m living right. Whether it’s business, a conversation with a friend or a quandary at the grocery store, being wrong gives me the chance to emerge better on the other side. And I can learn how to not make the same mistake again.
Now that you know why I love being wrong, why do YOU love being wrong? What does it bring to your life and what do you learn? Go out and hug a Wrong today – you need them (and they need you)!
Who do you lean on in business?
I’m not talking about left or right, conservative or liberal. I’m asking you: do you lean? More importantly, do you know HOW to lean?
Business is never a solo endeavor. On Tuesday, we spoke about things to consider when scaling your business. Today, we’re taking that idea one step further: who do you lean on in business? Leaning isn’t about not being able to support you and the weight of your day to day yourself. It’s about having a trusted business mind at your side at all times.
When you find someone in your business life that can not only lend an ear but their business savvy, it’s an incredibly empowering feeling. Business can be a lonely path to follow, what with worrying about competitors, bills, food on the table and keeping clients happy all at once. It’s key that you find a trusted colleague who has a soft shoulder to land on.
Sometimes it just helps us to know that we’re not crazy for thinking what we do about our business situation. Other times, it helps to have someone who will flat-out tell us we’re being crazy about our business situation! We get so wrapped up in our own day-to-day that we can’t see the forest for the trees sometimes. I don’t know about you, but I sure do value a little reality check every now and then!
Learn while you lean.
The other benefit of having a trusted business colleague is learning while you lean. When you share things about your business experience with someone, they’ll undeniably share things about their experience with you. If I made a list of how much I’d learned from other people’s business experiences – oh, honey – that would be a blog and website in and of themselves! Why would you deny yourself the gold mine that comes with learning from someone else’s mistakes and successes? It means you don’t have to make the same missteps and can take better, more purpose-driven steps toward you own goals.
So, my friends: LEAN! Find that shoulder, that ear. It feels great to take the load off every now and then.
If you have an experience to share about how you’ve found the hidden gold in a trusted ally, let me know and let’s start our own little “leaning” community right here.
To truly influence and maximize the power within your grasp, you need to become “one with it.” Huh? Let me tell you a story.
A few years ago, I took an off ramp, circling around to a huge overpass when I hit black ice. Now, most of you reading who live where there’s snow understand what black ice is. It’s ice that is basically invisible.
Well, I hit this invisible ice going about 60 mph when my SUV fish-tailed almost to a 90 degree angle with the road. Going over the side of the road wasn’t an option since it was a 150 foot drop. Cars slowed down and dropped way back behind me. My arms were suddenly sore, even numb, from maneuvering the steering wheel back and forth to keep from rolling the truck.
Then it hit me. I needed to become “one” with the truck. I let myself relax, breathe, and feel the sway and momentum of the vehicle. I moved with it instead of against it. All of a sudden, it became controllable. I was keeping it on the road bringing it into alignment.
Become one with yourself.
Why do I tell you this? Was I scared? You bet! I talk about this because becoming one with whatever is causing anxiety, alarm or discomfort is when you take back your power. Being one with yourself is akin to not only listening to but also hearing your female voice, your intuition. Hearing the message that will allow you to carry forward through whatever is distressing you.
After you are one with yourself, then become one with the other. Now, the other can be another person, an idea or a situation. I became one with the situation caused by the black ice. It happened in a split second. Becoming one with “it” means you need to respect, not agree or approve, with “it.” You seek a way to bring about favorable change or outcome.
For instance, if you are having a bad argument with your lover, become one with him or her, the words he or she is using, and the idea he or she is stating. This brings about a different approach to listening or relating. It will change the outcome simply because you decided to influence it by becoming one with it. The argument is no longer an argument to win but to understand. Not a discussion to force but a conversation to express.
Influence through your inner fluency – your intuition.
When you have pain, emotional or physical, connect with it – become one with it. Use your internal energy to be it. We’ve all read where people have survived enormous hardship by being in concert with it. Be aware of what is in your control while allowing your energy, emotions and being to join with the pain, thereby knowing what is needed to overcome or change it.
Out of this comes your greatest asset – using your intuition, power and favor with becoming one with whatever is there. You can do it – you may already do it but not know it. Bring it fully into your consciousness. Surrender to your natural ability to influence through your intuition or “inner fluency.”
Negativity is contagious. If you disagree then I have some property to sell you in the middle of the Arctic Circle! In my last blog post I talked about the consequences of keeping negative people in your life.
Seriously, what people think of themselves, their circumstances, or you can affect what you think about yourself, your circumstances, or your thoughts of others. It’s a law of human nature. If you surround yourself with sweet you smell sweet.
If you surround yourself with sour you smell sour.
But here’s the difference between negative and positive statements; the negative statements cause the greatest shifts in our thinking and behavior. Not only from good to bad, but bad to worse. Another law of human nature. This has all the trappings of group think.
You see, the opinions of others exert strong influence on your attitudes particularly when their opinions are negative. This impacts your perceptions. When your perceptions are faulty or negative you lose out on life. On the future you are striving to move toward.
So what can you do if you find yourself surrounded by negative people?
Follow these three steps:
- Teach yourself to recognize negative people – the words, the actions.
- Lower (or lose) your toleration of negative people – they are not allowed to cross boundaries – at any time!
- Dis-invite them from your life – immediately!
Now, some of these (or all of these) may sound a bit harsh. Great! The only sure thing to combat negative people is harsh, no-holds-bar action. Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from the noxious effects of their negativity. This is a sure sign of how much you value you.
