Part 2 in a 2-part series
Last time I promised we’d look at one way to use influence to close the gender communication gap. I’ve decided to choose a scenario that I believe is not only relevant, but has also grown increasingly prevalent in today’s hectic world.
Asking for information.
The difference between men and women in this arena is directly linked to the male/female priorities of status and connection (see Influence By Design blog post: #1 Difference Between The Sexes Every Woman Needs To Know).
You’d think with as much easy access to DNA-detailed information there is on the planet—thanks to computers, iPods and even GPS—men might let up somewhat with their (sometimes angry) resistance to asking for information.
No such luck.
Riding in the car with her husband, Carl, Sally is fuming. But it’s not because Carl doesn’t know which neighborhood street to take to reach their destination. They’ve been driving around aimlessly for 30 minutes and she’s mad because Carl refuses to ask someone which way to go.
Through her feminine filter, Sally knows that if she were driving, she would have stopped and asked for directions the moment she realized she didn’t know which way to go. The couple would already be enjoying themselves in the comfort of their friends’ living room.
Since asking for directions doesn’t make her uncomfortable, not asking doesn’t make sense to Sally and is a source of unnecessary stress.
But in her husband’s world, asking for help is uncomfortable, so driving around is not only reasonable, it actually makes him feel better and less stressed.
What’s going on here? Why do men resist asking for information, and just as important, why is it so many women don’t, even when they feel it’s the right thing to do?
