How do you find the middle ground in work-life balance?
Is work-life balance really a myth? Every now and then, I pop over and read the fabulous musings of Cali Yost. She’s an expert blogger on the work-life subject for Fast Company and hosts her own site at the Flex+Strategy Group. I like Cali’s content. And I agree with her: work-life BALANCE is something of a myth. She prefers the phrase “work-life fit.”
Fit. I like that. After all, have we ever, for a single day, truly had “balance” in our lives?
Corporations preach it in their recruiting materials and employee benefits books. Day cares and preschools offer to help us out with it. But if I concede that there’s not really a balance and it’s more of a “fit,” then I think we’re well on our way to making some progress in these days that we live that are brimming with non-stop activity.
It’s pretty simple to see when things are off-kilter: we stay at the office too late, answer emails at odd hours from our smart phones and our voicemail inboxes fill up like the laundry basket.
I put together three tips that you can start using TODAY to make your work-life balance a bit more balanced. Put on your life like it fits and stop trying to button that top button when you had the extra helping of your neighbor’s awesome potato salad at the picnic last night!
Work-Life Balance Tip #1: Take Lunch
Yes, I’m crazy. And I’m telling you to take lunch. Whether you work from home or in an office, step away from your work domain for a minimum of thirty minutes. Stop scheduling conference calls during lunch. Don’t answer your phone. Don’t respond to emails. Unplug – and see how much easier it is to plug back in.
Work-Life Balance Tip #2: Hard Stops
Not unlike taking lunch, give yourself a “hard stop” at least two days a week. This means that at 5 P.M. (or whatever time you determine), you call it a day. Not five minutes later and no excuses. Go DO SOMETHING (and enjoy it). Your inbox will still be there in the morning (and your family and friends will thank you).
Work-Life Balance Tip #3: Ask for Help
If you’re simply afraid that you can’t get everything done and the act of trying is what’s putting you off-kilter, ask for help. Hire a virtual assistant, a house cleaner or one of your teenagers to do some of the running around.
Whatever the solution, asking for help doesn’t have to be expensive or worst of all, humiliating. It can be empowering and free you up to do the things you both need and want to! Take a tip from one of my previous entries on how to offer support. It’s easier to lend and GIVE support than you might think!
Appreciate your opposite!
Forget the battle of the sexes. When it comes down to gender issues (and yes, we ALL have gender “issues”), men and women each bring something unique to the collective bargaining table. But in the heat of life and business, it’s easy to overlook the benefits of men and women being different – we’d rather see those differences as negative. Well, this morning I’m going to turn your head in another direction and give you a list of three things that men and women each do that they do better than the opposite sex! Now, these aren’t absolutes or stereotypical characterizations – they’re tools to help you change the way you think. Last week, we talked about the value of having a trusted business colleague to bounce ideas off of. Well, this week, I’m that person and I’m going to share some fun tips about men and women in business and in life!
Three Things Men Do Better than Women
- The Technicals - From installing a ceiling fan to figuring out why the back door is making “that noise,” men are just good with tools and gadgets. They’re raised with them – they take shop. Gals took home ec.
- The Research – Guys activate that hunter instinct and will tell us what kind of car we should buy, the best schools in the area in which we want to live and can find most anything we task them with finding. They love to hunt, gather and bring it home.
- The Solving – Men are problem solvers. Not to say that women aren’t, but it goes along with The Technicals. If something needs fixing, they’ll get it done.
Three Things Women Do Better than Men
- The Listening – While guys are great at fixing, sometimes things don’t need to be fixed. They just need to be heard.
- The Translating – We are great at hearing one thing and distilling the meaning. Granted, we are excellent at jumping to conclusions as well (not so great), but it goes along with our listening skills. We can hear, distill and then come out with something on the other side with great prowess.
- The Organizing – Maybe it’s our maternal instinct, but women can rally a crowd, plan a wedding, throw a fundraiser or get 16 kids to a little league game on time. We’re great at nurturing and every good organizer is a pro with taking care of the details.
Now, before I get the reaction from some of you as I did from some of my best girlfriends, let me explain. These differences correspond with the years of research done by Carol Gilligan, the foremost leader in gender differences in the world. (I had the privilege of training with one of Carol’s colleagues early in my career.)
Carol’s research shows that men speak in the voice of ‘justice’ and women speak in the voice of ‘care.’ Each ‘difference’ translates into leadership, consensus building and influence methods that you use everywhere in your life.
I want to ask you – what’s one thing that you think men do better than women and vice versa? We all see situations differently and it’s great if we can appreciate the people in front of us for how they’re built instead of who we’d like for them to be. Share with me in the comments section! Forget the battle of the sexes: how about a consensus?
Who do you lean on in business?
I’m not talking about left or right, conservative or liberal. I’m asking you: do you lean? More importantly, do you know HOW to lean?
Business is never a solo endeavor. On Tuesday, we spoke about things to consider when scaling your business. Today, we’re taking that idea one step further: who do you lean on in business? Leaning isn’t about not being able to support you and the weight of your day to day yourself. It’s about having a trusted business mind at your side at all times.
When you find someone in your business life that can not only lend an ear but their business savvy, it’s an incredibly empowering feeling. Business can be a lonely path to follow, what with worrying about competitors, bills, food on the table and keeping clients happy all at once. It’s key that you find a trusted colleague who has a soft shoulder to land on.
Sometimes it just helps us to know that we’re not crazy for thinking what we do about our business situation. Other times, it helps to have someone who will flat-out tell us we’re being crazy about our business situation! We get so wrapped up in our own day-to-day that we can’t see the forest for the trees sometimes. I don’t know about you, but I sure do value a little reality check every now and then!
Learn while you lean.
The other benefit of having a trusted business colleague is learning while you lean. When you share things about your business experience with someone, they’ll undeniably share things about their experience with you. If I made a list of how much I’d learned from other people’s business experiences – oh, honey – that would be a blog and website in and of themselves! Why would you deny yourself the gold mine that comes with learning from someone else’s mistakes and successes? It means you don’t have to make the same missteps and can take better, more purpose-driven steps toward you own goals.
So, my friends: LEAN! Find that shoulder, that ear. It feels great to take the load off every now and then.
If you have an experience to share about how you’ve found the hidden gold in a trusted ally, let me know and let’s start our own little “leaning” community right here.
Business finance strategies shouldn't make your balance sheet match your lipstick...
We’ve talked about ways to grow your money, but let’s face it – it’s EASY to spend money! Whether online or in the store, there are things peeking out from around every corner saying, “You neeeeeeeed me!” I’d venture to guess that half the time, the expenditures are necessary. The other half of the time, we’re doing more harm to our balance sheet than good. If you find your balance sheet in the red month after month, it’s time to stop matching it to your lipstick and begin matching it to that favorite pair of black go-anywhere shoes.
Business finance doesn’t have to be a headache. Here are five simple ideas for getting your finances in-line quickly and with as little spending as possible!
- Establish a filing system – When you need receipts or answers, wouldn’t it be great to know where to find them? Not only find them, but actually have a system for filing them. That means a personal deadline for scanning or recording receipts following the date of purchase or payment. One simple idea is to establish an “inbox” on your desk and every Friday morning, begin your day by recording the week’s receipts and filing them. Nothing like starting the weekend with a clean desk (Mondays will be MUCH more pleasant!).
- Hire a CPA – Pay someone to manage your money and think about your money for you. You’d be surprised what $500 per year can do for your bottom line. Just like the guy we call to deal with a plumbing problem or to repair the brakes on the car, financial expertise has its place. A good CPA is more than just a “tax man.” He or she is a business strategist who will help you structure your finances and expenditures in the most favorable means possible.
- Make a purchase delay – If you feel compelled to purchase something for your business (or simply for yourself), establish a self-imposed purchase delay. This isn’t about depriving yourself – it’s about giving you the time to think. Say your self-imposed purchase delay is 24 hours and a day later, you decide to go through with the purchase. Then do it! This is a good way to minimize those impulse buys that look great at the time but do nothing but detract from your bottom line.
To truly influence and maximize the power within your grasp, you need to become “one with it.” Huh? Let me tell you a story.
A few years ago, I took an off ramp, circling around to a huge overpass when I hit black ice. Now, most of you reading who live where there’s snow understand what black ice is. It’s ice that is basically invisible.
Well, I hit this invisible ice going about 60 mph when my SUV fish-tailed almost to a 90 degree angle with the road. Going over the side of the road wasn’t an option since it was a 150 foot drop. Cars slowed down and dropped way back behind me. My arms were suddenly sore, even numb, from maneuvering the steering wheel back and forth to keep from rolling the truck.
Then it hit me. I needed to become “one” with the truck. I let myself relax, breathe, and feel the sway and momentum of the vehicle. I moved with it instead of against it. All of a sudden, it became controllable. I was keeping it on the road bringing it into alignment.
Become one with yourself.
Why do I tell you this? Was I scared? You bet! I talk about this because becoming one with whatever is causing anxiety, alarm or discomfort is when you take back your power. Being one with yourself is akin to not only listening to but also hearing your female voice, your intuition. Hearing the message that will allow you to carry forward through whatever is distressing you.
After you are one with yourself, then become one with the other. Now, the other can be another person, an idea or a situation. I became one with the situation caused by the black ice. It happened in a split second. Becoming one with “it” means you need to respect, not agree or approve, with “it.” You seek a way to bring about favorable change or outcome.
For instance, if you are having a bad argument with your lover, become one with him or her, the words he or she is using, and the idea he or she is stating. This brings about a different approach to listening or relating. It will change the outcome simply because you decided to influence it by becoming one with it. The argument is no longer an argument to win but to understand. Not a discussion to force but a conversation to express.
Influence through your inner fluency – your intuition.
When you have pain, emotional or physical, connect with it – become one with it. Use your internal energy to be it. We’ve all read where people have survived enormous hardship by being in concert with it. Be aware of what is in your control while allowing your energy, emotions and being to join with the pain, thereby knowing what is needed to overcome or change it.
Out of this comes your greatest asset – using your intuition, power and favor with becoming one with whatever is there. You can do it – you may already do it but not know it. Bring it fully into your consciousness. Surrender to your natural ability to influence through your intuition or “inner fluency.”
