To truly influence and maximize the power within your grasp, you need to become “one with it.” Huh? Let me tell you a story.
A few years ago, I took an off ramp, circling around to a huge overpass when I hit black ice. Now, most of you reading who live where there’s snow understand what black ice is. It’s ice that is basically invisible.
Well, I hit this invisible ice going about 60 mph when my SUV fish-tailed almost to a 90 degree angle with the road. Going over the side of the road wasn’t an option since it was a 150 foot drop. Cars slowed down and dropped way back behind me. My arms were suddenly sore, even numb, from maneuvering the steering wheel back and forth to keep from rolling the truck.
Then it hit me. I needed to become “one” with the truck. I let myself relax, breathe, and feel the sway and momentum of the vehicle. I moved with it instead of against it. All of a sudden, it became controllable. I was keeping it on the road bringing it into alignment.
Become one with yourself.
Why do I tell you this? Was I scared? You bet! I talk about this because becoming one with whatever is causing anxiety, alarm or discomfort is when you take back your power. Being one with yourself is akin to not only listening to but also hearing your female voice, your intuition. Hearing the message that will allow you to carry forward through whatever is distressing you.
After you are one with yourself, then become one with the other. Now, the other can be another person, an idea or a situation. I became one with the situation caused by the black ice. It happened in a split second. Becoming one with “it” means you need to respect, not agree or approve, with “it.” You seek a way to bring about favorable change or outcome.
For instance, if you are having a bad argument with your lover, become one with him or her, the words he or she is using, and the idea he or she is stating. This brings about a different approach to listening or relating. It will change the outcome simply because you decided to influence it by becoming one with it. The argument is no longer an argument to win but to understand. Not a discussion to force but a conversation to express.
Influence through your inner fluency – your intuition.
When you have pain, emotional or physical, connect with it – become one with it. Use your internal energy to be it. We’ve all read where people have survived enormous hardship by being in concert with it. Be aware of what is in your control while allowing your energy, emotions and being to join with the pain, thereby knowing what is needed to overcome or change it.
Out of this comes your greatest asset – using your intuition, power and favor with becoming one with whatever is there. You can do it – you may already do it but not know it. Bring it fully into your consciousness. Surrender to your natural ability to influence through your intuition or “inner fluency.”
What business do negative people have in your life? Why are they there in the first place? Because you let them hang around. Could it be you hang around them?
What happens when you are surrounded by even just one negative Nellie? Your whole day, attitude, perspective, and direction changes – for the worse.
Before you know it there’s a pattern that goes like this; “I know she’s negative but she has some good qualities, too.” Then; “I can fix her negativity.” Next; “She really isn’t THAT negative.” Lastly; “What? She’s negative? I didn’t notice.”
See what’s happening? You are caught in a trap that soon becomes your story. Picture the rat on the wheel in the cage. Well, guess what? You are the rat. Yuck!
Give yourself a break for good from negativity!
Allowing, keeping and listening to negative people is the worst thing you can do. I speak from personal experience – decades ago! The negative person is childish at heart, low maturity level. When they fail to get what they want they resort to negativity.
What do negative people sound like?
Here’s what they say about themselves:
- It’s just no use!
- It’s going to be another one of those days!
- Nothing ever works out for me – it’s just my luck.
- I have absolutely no talent.
- Nobody likes me – I am such an idiot.
- I get sick just thinking about that.
- I don’t have the energy I used to.
- I never know what to say.
- Nobody wants to pay me what I’m worth.
- I already know I am not going to enjoy that.
- Bonus: If only I were taller, (thinner, prettier, stronger, smarter…etc)
Here’s what they say to you:
- That won’t work.
- I thought you said you could do it?
- You don’t know what you’re doing.
- I told you so.
- I can’t believe you did that.
- You shouldn’t have done that.
- It’s hopeless.
- Nobody really wants to help you.
- I think you should know . . .
- Why do you even bother?
When we hear information the brain decides if it’s true or not. Simple. Easy, right? Not always.
When we hear negative statements the female brain decides not only if it is true or not but we begin to try understanding what the statement means. We are wired that way.
Our brains spend more time on the negative statements than the positive ones. Sorting, ciphering, explaining, and choosing. This all happens before we act on what we heard.
Why is our process different than men’s? Emotions. We consider all angles. We are caretakers. We give second, third and fourth chances (even when it isn’t good for us).
We entertain who will be hurt. We are conditioned to believe our gut reaction is off base.
We question our strongest asset – our intuition.
Negative thinking, words and behaviors cripple our mind and spirit. It shapes our mental makeup. Here’s the choice only you can make. Will you allow anyone to be in your presence who complains, criticizes or nags (whining, too) constantly at every turn? Begin by taking small steps. The ‘anyone’ can even be your best friend (or former best friend), your sister or even your hubby. These can be extremely tough decisions.
Can you remove all negative people from your life? Yes. I did. You can, too!
I’d like to hear some words of wisdom from you. Please share your thoughts – thanks!
Being a person who has the capacity to influence others is big stuff. Sometimes we forget how much of an impact our actions or words can have. I like to think about our influence as either perfume or poison. One is uplifting and pleasing. The other is toxic and hurtful.
Here’s an example. When I was 16 I landed my first office job. I was an assistant to the office manager for a water well drilling company. Everything was a bit scary – telephones, field radios, typewriter, accounting ledgers, 10-key calculator, and the men that came to the office from the field. Being a quick learner, it only took me a few days to master most of my duties.
However, the 10-key was a challenge for me. The office manager was an older woman who had little patience for a girl that lacked total and absolute perfection. She huffed and puffed, sighed and rolled her eyes. I could handle that. What I will never forget is that she saved my most glaring mistakes for when one of the men came to the office. One of the guys might come for help with a payroll question or need a form for a bid. While I was providing assistance, the office manager would announce some [Read More]
Part 2 of a 3 part series: Conquering Creativity Challenges
In my last article, I revealed the 4 secrets to finding your creativity – the first stage of three in actualizing your creative process. Creative thought is the essence of every woman.
Every woman has the capacity or dare I say the responsibility to share her creativity. But what happens when there are barriers?
Here are the 4 secrets to Conquering Creativity Challenges:
Secret #1: Pledge to Self. Creative, inspiring women practice the skill of self-focus. Women are overcoming societal expectations in order to give high priority to self.
Self-focus does not mean a woman is abdicating her true nature of nurturer. Rather, she is nurturing her soul and creative gifts. Your success doesn’t mean someone else’s loss.
The quote, “When mama ain’t happy, nobody happy!” is more than words. Here’s the message: when a woman gives to herself – her creative thought – she has abundance to share.
“And no one will listen to us until we listen to ourselves.” Marianne Williamson
Secret #2: [Read More]
Part 1 of a 3 part series: Finding Your Creativity
Spring is here. It’s time to clean out the cobwebs in your brain. Open your mind to all ideas you ignore, argue with or push to the backburner for later. Well, later is here.
Women have the capacity to take the unknown and give it a form that speaks in a different voice to each listener. Women own the power (and passion) of creative thought to paint, write, compose, think and perform.
What is creative thought in relation to the female brain? How do women influence their creative thought? Where should you start to find the power of your creative thought? Answers to these questions serve the influential intuitive woman.
There are three stages to actualizing your creative process: Finding Your Creativity, Conquering Creativity Challenges and Living Creative Results. Within each area you will find the 4 secrets dispelling the mystery of creativity – driving your mastery.
Secret #1: Accept Your Creativity. Creativity isn’t [Read More]
