Fairy tales. As we get older and life shows us what it truly holds around each bend, we begin to lose our faith that somewhere, sometime, there’s a fairy tale waiting for us.
Princes and princesses disappear and we see the monsters in the moat, the fire-breathing dragons. Well, we see everything that keeps us from getting where we need to go.
You know what I love about fairy tales? Everything. The beginning, middle and end, every trial and tribulation in between! Aside from imagining myself all dressed-up in corseted gowns and waving to my prince from a tower’s window, I think fairy tales have quite a bit to teach us about business. If only we’d listen.
I want to share three things that I’ve learned about being a woman in business from all those fairy tales of my childhood. Now, this doesn’t mean that the guys can’t share in these thoughts, but I’m a girl and I’m talking to my fellow princesses today!
Hire a Contractor: Remember the Three Little Pigs? That nasty wolf kept huffing and puffing and blowing their house down. This goes to show that do-it-yourself isn’t necessarily the best defense against the things you want to keep at bay in your business. Whether competition or an afternoon rainstorm, team up with those who know how to build what you need – and it’s most likely not one of the other two little piggies under your roof! (Tip: search for woman-owned general contractors and businesses if you want to keep it with the sisterhood!)
Watch What You Eat: If you want to end up in an oven like Hansel and Gretel, go ahead an gobble-up anything that’s put in front of you just because it looks tasty. There are a lot of people in the business world that prey on your desire to grow and prosper and they’ll sell you a bill of goods because you’re hungry. Do your homework, read the fine print and get referrals for those business snacks you’re about to eat. It doesn’t all taste as good as it looks!
Dreams Can Come True: Your glass slipper, your happily ever after – it’s all possible as a woman in business. There’s no “man” keeping you down and to be quite honest, if you find a fire-breathing dragon keeping you from your goals, I want you to email me a picture. Whatever you aspire to can become your day to day. Grab a white horse and a killer dress and go get that new client, small business loan or fantastic new logo design. You deserve it and if you envision it, you can have it.
To truly influence and maximize the power within your grasp, you need to become “one with it.” Huh? Let me tell you a story.
A few years ago, I took an off ramp, circling around to a huge overpass when I hit black ice. Now, most of you reading who live where there’s snow understand what black ice is. It’s ice that is basically invisible.
Well, I hit this invisible ice going about 60 mph when my SUV fish-tailed almost to a 90 degree angle with the road. Going over the side of the road wasn’t an option since it was a 150 foot drop. Cars slowed down and dropped way back behind me. My arms were suddenly sore, even numb, from maneuvering the steering wheel back and forth to keep from rolling the truck.
Then it hit me. I needed to become “one” with the truck. I let myself relax, breathe, and feel the sway and momentum of the vehicle. I moved with it instead of against it. All of a sudden, it became controllable. I was keeping it on the road bringing it into alignment.
Become one with yourself.
Why do I tell you this? Was I scared? You bet! I talk about this because becoming one with whatever is causing anxiety, alarm or discomfort is when you take back your power. Being one with yourself is akin to not only listening to but also hearing your female voice, your intuition. Hearing the message that will allow you to carry forward through whatever is distressing you.
After you are one with yourself, then become one with the other. Now, the other can be another person, an idea or a situation. I became one with the situation caused by the black ice. It happened in a split second. Becoming one with “it” means you need to respect, not agree or approve, with “it.” You seek a way to bring about favorable change or outcome.
For instance, if you are having a bad argument with your lover, become one with him or her, the words he or she is using, and the idea he or she is stating. This brings about a different approach to listening or relating. It will change the outcome simply because you decided to influence it by becoming one with it. The argument is no longer an argument to win but to understand. Not a discussion to force but a conversation to express.
Influence through your inner fluency – your intuition.
When you have pain, emotional or physical, connect with it – become one with it. Use your internal energy to be it. We’ve all read where people have survived enormous hardship by being in concert with it. Be aware of what is in your control while allowing your energy, emotions and being to join with the pain, thereby knowing what is needed to overcome or change it.
Out of this comes your greatest asset – using your intuition, power and favor with becoming one with whatever is there. You can do it – you may already do it but not know it. Bring it fully into your consciousness. Surrender to your natural ability to influence through your intuition or “inner fluency.”
What causes butterflies, knots, avoidance, self-consciousness, and fear? These are the feelings you may get when escaping the trap of your comfort zone. So why does leaving the safety of your comfort zone, at its core, hurt so much?
Humiliation. Next to the natural fears of falling and loud noise, the fear of humiliation is a confidence-killer.
Psychologically speaking, your comfort zone (Part I) is a simulated mental boundary designed to maintain a sense of security (comfort), staying out of great discomfort (pain). The method? Avoiding any semblance of discomfort (pain).
We’ve got our built-in power within us: influence. Women see the world differently than men. When you understand this, and know how to recognize it, then use it, you’ve got the influence to make a (comfort zone) power leap.
A Girl’s Gotta Expand . . . Beyond Her Comfort Zone
The definition of today’s woman is influence, a skill that that spotlights her strengths instead of her perceived weaknesses. You were born with mental prowess, a strong and pliable identity, keen emotional insight and relational tools different from men.
Capitalize on them. Let them work for you.
Power women follow these 7 practices when saying goodbye to their safety nest:
1. Become the influencer.
Know who’s going to be the influencer. An influencer is someone who affects the actions of others. If you aren’t sure it’s you – become sure.
Recognize when you are being influenced — you’re kept waiting, you hear ‘honey’ one too many times, continuous talking –by someone else, and attempts to instill a sense of urgency.
There are two reasons no woman should fear leaving their comfort zone. [Read More]
Fairy tales. As we get older and life shows us what it truly holds around each bend, we begin to lose our faith that somewhere, sometime, there’s a fairy tale waiting for us.
