Yesterday, Joseph Stack flew his plane into the IRS building in Austin, Texas. The scene was dreadful and frightening. As of this writing two people have died. A senseless action.
What influenced this man to carry out such a horrendous act? Is the IRS a powerful influence over a person’s decision to become violent? Or was the influence that existed taken in such a way that hopelessness was the only result.
What occurred inside this seemingly sane person that caused him to burn his home then do a kamikaze? The answer my friends is simple…
Emotions.
In my blog, How I Conquer the 3 Biggest Barriers to Influence, I revealed the 3 psychological emotions that stand in your way of having influence over yourself.
When we allow an outside force, person or organization to influence our good judgment we must take action as to WHO and WHAT influences our lives.
My heart hurts for his family and I send my most sincere condolences. As a professional, a licensed psychologist and one who has counseled many – I’d like to talk about influence and how it affects a woman’s life everyday.
The Danger of Hopelessness and Desperation
Hopelessness is having no expectation of success - believing there is no solution. It threatens our physical and psychological well being. It is an “end” emotion meaning there is no possible change.
Desperation is defined as ‘recklessness arising from despair.’ Desperation blinds us to a sense of self preservation – unable to think clearly about our behavior. In massive quantities, we become influenced by the deep wallows of despair and hopelessness.
These two emotions must be influenced by our own inner truth and value. As women especially WE must influence these two emotions when they arise. Trust me, they will arise… and the truth of how valuable you are and the reality of hope must be at the core of your existence.
Why is this important to know? [Read More]
Did Valentine’s Day feel like a disease to you? Something to get away from ? What is VD anyway? It is the one day out of the year when greeting cards, jewelry and chocolate stocks go up in value. Why? Because people buy, literally, into the hype about ‘this is the day of love’ nonsense.
Valentine’s Day takes a toll on women. What about the woman who is single, in a loveless relationship, or recovering from domestic violence? Divorce rates are high. Women are staying single longer, putting career (and financial freedom) before romance.
Valentine’s Day is another reminder that the world is arranged for and celebrates couples.
Women need to influence the celebration of love the other 364 days of the year. We are tired of the fake sentiments that we are supposed to fall for or over – depending on your slant of view.
I think it’s about having the power, real power to take charge of your life. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, said this, “Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” And this applies to love.
Karen Keller’s 5 Jewels To Conquer VD Burnout:
1. Compose your own mindset. What was the conversation in your head on VD? Make it one of peaceful memories not anxiety-laden sentiments. Set the intention to experience the wonder of you. Stay confident that that’s where you’re meant to be on that particular day.
2. Believe in you. What do your beliefs tell you? Challenge assumptions that do not support your choice to be where you are. Tune into yourself to become powerful. If your belief about Valentine’s Day is one of “If I don’t have a date or get flowers I must be flawed” then you set yourself up to make this a belief – opening the door to behave as flawed. Your belief can influence perfection in positioning yourself for success.
3. Move beyond tradition. Call your best girlfriends or your mother or daughter and make a new custom of celebrating the love you have for the women in your life. There is much to celebrate. I did this with my daughter on Valentine’s Day one year – she was 15. We got dressed up, put a little bling on, and went out to dinner. We had a blast! She learned how to take charge of her own happiness and sense of definition.
4. Become Marie Curie. Women are great innovators. Creation is always happening. We are naturally made that way. Our imagination guarantees our ability to come up with great ideas. Create a unique special way that you would love to celebrate VD and then DO IT!
When it comes to Valentine’s Day, imagine all possibilities; you’ll find romance – if you want to, you’ll be introduced to the essence of you. Women are in charge of what they want to innovate.
5. Trust your Intuition or ‘inner fluency.’ Women have complete access – 24 hours a day – to their intuition. How well do you know what you want? How good are you at inviting things you don’t want?
Any power you need over Valentine’s Day is at your disposal. The success of your inner fluency is to the exact degree that the beliefs you hold in your heart, the thought you think, the words you say and the actions you take line up.
As long as you wear these 5 Jewels you will love yourself. Valentine’s Day is a time to recognize and acknowledge the power and richness that is you. Whether you are involved with someone, or you are single, experience these 5 jewels to celebrate a great day for love – everyday.
What’s your take on VD? Tell me in 2 sentences.
What causes butterflies, knots, avoidance, self-consciousness, and fear? These are the feelings you may get when escaping the trap of your comfort zone. So why does leaving the safety of your comfort zone, at its core, hurt so much?
Humiliation. Next to the natural fears of falling and loud noise, the fear of humiliation is a confidence-killer.
Psychologically speaking, your comfort zone (Part I) is a simulated mental boundary designed to maintain a sense of security (comfort), staying out of great discomfort (pain). The method? Avoiding any semblance of discomfort (pain).
We’ve got our built-in power within us: influence. Women see the world differently than men. When you understand this, and know how to recognize it, then use it, you’ve got the influence to make a (comfort zone) power leap.
A Girl’s Gotta Expand . . . Beyond Her Comfort Zone
The definition of today’s woman is influence, a skill that that spotlights her strengths instead of her perceived weaknesses. You were born with mental prowess, a strong and pliable identity, keen emotional insight and relational tools different from men.
Capitalize on them. Let them work for you.
Power women follow these 7 practices when saying goodbye to their safety nest:
1. Become the influencer.
Know who’s going to be the influencer. An influencer is someone who affects the actions of others. If you aren’t sure it’s you – become sure.
Recognize when you are being influenced — you’re kept waiting, you hear ‘honey’ one too many times, continuous talking –by someone else, and attempts to instill a sense of urgency.
There are two reasons no woman should fear leaving their comfort zone. [Read More]
What is it that propels women into zones of great accomplishment from zones of pleasant safe comfort? I call it – comfort zone relocation!
Lisa Weber, 46, the daughter of a New Jersey taxi driver who was president of Individual Business for MetLife Inc., one of the world’s largest providers of insurance and financial services – a hulking enterprise with $19 billion in revenues and some $1.5 billion in operating profits – has definitely set the bar for moving out of her comfort zone.
Weber hesitated in 1998, fearful she had no sales background, when asked by Rob Henrickson, MetLife’s CEO, to take a role in operations. She could have stayed in a position that required little risk, no need for competition, and few reasons for assertion.
Did that stop her? [Read More]
Behind every woman is a great…woman. Here’s mine.
1. Margaret Thatcher – Britain’s first female prime minister made her first bid for public office only two years after graduating college. Seemingly disenchanted on the future of women in politics, Thatcher once said, “I don’t think there will be a woman prime minister in my lifetime,” during a 1973 television appearance. The “Iron Lady” proved herself wrong a year later by becoming a dominant force in her political party using courage, insight and the power of persuasion. Her campaign readiness quote, “I have a woman’s ability to stick to a job and get on with it when everyone else walks off and leaves,” led to historical success. The woman inspired me to march out of step. If Margaret Thatcher could claim her place in the world, than so would I.
Behind every great woman is a…great woman. Here’s mine.
