What business do negative people have in your life? Why are they there in the first place? Because you let them hang around. Could it be you hang around them?
What happens when you are surrounded by even just one negative Nellie? Your whole day, attitude, perspective, and direction changes – for the worse.
Before you know it there’s a pattern that goes like this; “I know she’s negative but she has some good qualities, too.” Then; “I can fix her negativity.” Next; “She really isn’t THAT negative.” Lastly; “What? She’s negative? I didn’t notice.”
See what’s happening? You are caught in a trap that soon becomes your story. Picture the rat on the wheel in the cage. Well, guess what? You are the rat. Yuck!
Give yourself a break for good from negativity!
Allowing, keeping and listening to negative people is the worst thing you can do. I speak from personal experience – decades ago! The negative person is childish at heart, low maturity level. When they fail to get what they want they resort to negativity.
What do negative people sound like?
Here’s what they say about themselves:
- It’s just no use!
- It’s going to be another one of those days!
- Nothing ever works out for me – it’s just my luck.
- I have absolutely no talent.
- Nobody likes me – I am such an idiot.
- I get sick just thinking about that.
- I don’t have the energy I used to.
- I never know what to say.
- Nobody wants to pay me what I’m worth.
- I already know I am not going to enjoy that.
- Bonus: If only I were taller, (thinner, prettier, stronger, smarter…etc)
Here’s what they say to you:
- That won’t work.
- I thought you said you could do it?
- You don’t know what you’re doing.
- I told you so.
- I can’t believe you did that.
- You shouldn’t have done that.
- It’s hopeless.
- Nobody really wants to help you.
- I think you should know . . .
- Why do you even bother?
When we hear information the brain decides if it’s true or not. Simple. Easy, right? Not always.
When we hear negative statements the female brain decides not only if it is true or not but we begin to try understanding what the statement means. We are wired that way.
Our brains spend more time on the negative statements than the positive ones. Sorting, ciphering, explaining, and choosing. This all happens before we act on what we heard.
Why is our process different than men’s? Emotions. We consider all angles. We are caretakers. We give second, third and fourth chances (even when it isn’t good for us).
We entertain who will be hurt. We are conditioned to believe our gut reaction is off base.
We question our strongest asset – our intuition.
Negative thinking, words and behaviors cripple our mind and spirit. It shapes our mental makeup. Here’s the choice only you can make. Will you allow anyone to be in your presence who complains, criticizes or nags (whining, too) constantly at every turn? Begin by taking small steps. The ‘anyone’ can even be your best friend (or former best friend), your sister or even your hubby. These can be extremely tough decisions.
Can you remove all negative people from your life? Yes. I did. You can, too!
I’d like to hear some words of wisdom from you. Please share your thoughts – thanks!
Throughout history, the mother and daughter relationship has been a give and take or a push and shove relationship – depending on where you’re standing. Sometimes these relationships are terribly strained ending up in a stand off when the daughter is in her forties or fifties.
“I love my mother, but she drives me crazy!”
Does this sound familiar? And then there’s that tiny twinge of guilt.
How much do we love our mothers?
- 88 percent of adults say their mother has had a positive influence on them.
- 92 percent say their current relationship with their mother is positive.
- 88 percent of all mothers say their family appreciates them enough.
- 60 percent of women say their mother was more influential than their father, compared with 45 percent of men.
Even though we cut the umbilical cord there still is a strong connection. So strong that 80% of women at midlife say they have a good relationship with their mother – but wish it was better.
Wish it was better? If that’s the case then do it. Why would you settle for less than what you want? You have the power to influence any relationship – why not one of the most important one – with your mother? [Read More]
Part 3 of a 3 part series: Living Creative Results
Part 1 of this series helped you get started – discovering that you do have a creative side and how to access it. Part 2 focused on dealing with the gremlins. You know – the self-limiting beliefs that invade your mind.
Now it’s time to focus on what’s ahead. What are your creative goals? What do you dream about? How will you share your creative genius? You’ve accessed your creative energy, beat the challenges and now what do you do?
Bask in the creative genius you have uncovered, engaged and is fruitful.
Here are the remaining 4 secrets designed to support you in living your creative results.
Secret #1: Making the Hurdles. When you decide to put your creative genius “out there,” be prepared for rejection. However, these rejections are like hurdles. You start running and jump one hurdle at a time – never looking back. Better yet, be proactive. Identify and overcome your hurdles before they appear on the track.
Secret #2: [Read More]
Part 2 of a 3 part series: Conquering Creativity Challenges
In my last article, I revealed the 4 secrets to finding your creativity – the first stage of three in actualizing your creative process. Creative thought is the essence of every woman.
Every woman has the capacity or dare I say the responsibility to share her creativity. But what happens when there are barriers?
Here are the 4 secrets to Conquering Creativity Challenges:
Secret #1: Pledge to Self. Creative, inspiring women practice the skill of self-focus. Women are overcoming societal expectations in order to give high priority to self.
Self-focus does not mean a woman is abdicating her true nature of nurturer. Rather, she is nurturing her soul and creative gifts. Your success doesn’t mean someone else’s loss.
The quote, “When mama ain’t happy, nobody happy!” is more than words. Here’s the message: when a woman gives to herself – her creative thought – she has abundance to share.
“And no one will listen to us until we listen to ourselves.” Marianne Williamson
Secret #2: [Read More]
From Dale Carnegie to Robert Cialdini and Kevin Hogan, much information written on influence emerges from men. Even though the ideas and opinions they offer are valuable, women are yearning to know what influence tactics, negotiations, and language resonate for them.
We are thirsty to study how we can use influence strategies with OUR minds, OUR emotions, and OUR desires. A disconnect exists between [Read More]
