One foot in front of the other - the first step for positive living!
The last thing you want to do every morning is get out of bed and trip all over yourself. Positive living – it’s the first tool you need in your toolbox in order to start each day with one foot in front of the other and a smile on your face! But are you your own biggest obstacle and not even aware?
I’m guilty of getting in my own way. It’s true. My schedule, my life – they get the better of me on some days and I couldn’t fight my way out of a paper bag (even if you gave me a pair of scissors). I’ll share with you today some strategies I use to get out of my own way and back on down the road of positive living. It’ll put a smile on my face to know they worked for you!
Your Schedule – Fix It!
You’re the only one who allows things to go on your schedule. The only one. So stop acting like other people have permission to run your days for you! Enough with the double booking and back to back appointments. Give yourself room to breathe and the time it takes to do what you do best.
Your Clients – Love Them!
In the entrepreneurial world, we sometimes take business because we need the work, not because we like the client. Commit to yourself that you’re only going to take clients you like. When you have clients you like, they’ll refer people like them to you. And that’s more clients you like. It’s magic!
Your Life – Don’t Forget It!
When you leave the office or end your work day, don’t be afraid to not take a call or let your email sit until morning. Your insurance agent isn’t going to hit reply or answer a call at 8:30pm. Why should you? Give yourself the latitude to LIVE your life. Friends, family and relaxation. Devoting time to these things make YOU a better you and ultimately a better business.
Fairy tales. As we get older and life shows us what it truly holds around each bend, we begin to lose our faith that somewhere, sometime, there’s a fairy tale waiting for us.
Princes and princesses disappear and we see the monsters in the moat, the fire-breathing dragons. Well, we see everything that keeps us from getting where we need to go.
You know what I love about fairy tales? Everything. The beginning, middle and end, every trial and tribulation in between! Aside from imagining myself all dressed-up in corseted gowns and waving to my prince from a tower’s window, I think fairy tales have quite a bit to teach us about business. If only we’d listen.
I want to share three things that I’ve learned about being a woman in business from all those fairy tales of my childhood. Now, this doesn’t mean that the guys can’t share in these thoughts, but I’m a girl and I’m talking to my fellow princesses today!
Hire a Contractor: Remember the Three Little Pigs? That nasty wolf kept huffing and puffing and blowing their house down. This goes to show that do-it-yourself isn’t necessarily the best defense against the things you want to keep at bay in your business. Whether competition or an afternoon rainstorm, team up with those who know how to build what you need – and it’s most likely not one of the other two little piggies under your roof! (Tip: search for woman-owned general contractors and businesses if you want to keep it with the sisterhood!)
Watch What You Eat: If you want to end up in an oven like Hansel and Gretel, go ahead an gobble-up anything that’s put in front of you just because it looks tasty. There are a lot of people in the business world that prey on your desire to grow and prosper and they’ll sell you a bill of goods because you’re hungry. Do your homework, read the fine print and get referrals for those business snacks you’re about to eat. It doesn’t all taste as good as it looks!
Dreams Can Come True: Your glass slipper, your happily ever after – it’s all possible as a woman in business. There’s no “man” keeping you down and to be quite honest, if you find a fire-breathing dragon keeping you from your goals, I want you to email me a picture. Whatever you aspire to can become your day to day. Grab a white horse and a killer dress and go get that new client, small business loan or fantastic new logo design. You deserve it and if you envision it, you can have it.
How do you find the middle ground in work-life balance?
Is work-life balance really a myth? Every now and then, I pop over and read the fabulous musings of Cali Yost. She’s an expert blogger on the work-life subject for Fast Company and hosts her own site at the Flex+Strategy Group. I like Cali’s content. And I agree with her: work-life BALANCE is something of a myth. She prefers the phrase “work-life fit.”
Fit. I like that. After all, have we ever, for a single day, truly had “balance” in our lives?
Corporations preach it in their recruiting materials and employee benefits books. Day cares and preschools offer to help us out with it. But if I concede that there’s not really a balance and it’s more of a “fit,” then I think we’re well on our way to making some progress in these days that we live that are brimming with non-stop activity.
It’s pretty simple to see when things are off-kilter: we stay at the office too late, answer emails at odd hours from our smart phones and our voicemail inboxes fill up like the laundry basket.
I put together three tips that you can start using TODAY to make your work-life balance a bit more balanced. Put on your life like it fits and stop trying to button that top button when you had the extra helping of your neighbor’s awesome potato salad at the picnic last night!
Work-Life Balance Tip #1: Take Lunch
Yes, I’m crazy. And I’m telling you to take lunch. Whether you work from home or in an office, step away from your work domain for a minimum of thirty minutes. Stop scheduling conference calls during lunch. Don’t answer your phone. Don’t respond to emails. Unplug – and see how much easier it is to plug back in.
Work-Life Balance Tip #2: Hard Stops
Not unlike taking lunch, give yourself a “hard stop” at least two days a week. This means that at 5 P.M. (or whatever time you determine), you call it a day. Not five minutes later and no excuses. Go DO SOMETHING (and enjoy it). Your inbox will still be there in the morning (and your family and friends will thank you).
Work-Life Balance Tip #3: Ask for Help
If you’re simply afraid that you can’t get everything done and the act of trying is what’s putting you off-kilter, ask for help. Hire a virtual assistant, a house cleaner or one of your teenagers to do some of the running around.
Whatever the solution, asking for help doesn’t have to be expensive or worst of all, humiliating. It can be empowering and free you up to do the things you both need and want to! Take a tip from one of my previous entries on how to offer support. It’s easier to lend and GIVE support than you might think!
Negativity is contagious. If you disagree then I have some property to sell you in the middle of the Arctic Circle! In my last blog post I talked about the consequences of keeping negative people in your life.
Seriously, what people think of themselves, their circumstances, or you can affect what you think about yourself, your circumstances, or your thoughts of others. It’s a law of human nature. If you surround yourself with sweet you smell sweet.
If you surround yourself with sour you smell sour.
But here’s the difference between negative and positive statements; the negative statements cause the greatest shifts in our thinking and behavior. Not only from good to bad, but bad to worse. Another law of human nature. This has all the trappings of group think.
You see, the opinions of others exert strong influence on your attitudes particularly when their opinions are negative. This impacts your perceptions. When your perceptions are faulty or negative you lose out on life. On the future you are striving to move toward.
So what can you do if you find yourself surrounded by negative people?
Follow these three steps:
- Teach yourself to recognize negative people – the words, the actions.
- Lower (or lose) your toleration of negative people – they are not allowed to cross boundaries – at any time!
- Dis-invite them from your life – immediately!
Now, some of these (or all of these) may sound a bit harsh. Great! The only sure thing to combat negative people is harsh, no-holds-bar action. Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from the noxious effects of their negativity. This is a sure sign of how much you value you.
What business do negative people have in your life? Why are they there in the first place? Because you let them hang around. Could it be you hang around them?
What happens when you are surrounded by even just one negative Nellie? Your whole day, attitude, perspective, and direction changes – for the worse.
Before you know it there’s a pattern that goes like this; “I know she’s negative but she has some good qualities, too.” Then; “I can fix her negativity.” Next; “She really isn’t THAT negative.” Lastly; “What? She’s negative? I didn’t notice.”
See what’s happening? You are caught in a trap that soon becomes your story. Picture the rat on the wheel in the cage. Well, guess what? You are the rat. Yuck!
Give yourself a break for good from negativity!
Allowing, keeping and listening to negative people is the worst thing you can do. I speak from personal experience – decades ago! The negative person is childish at heart, low maturity level. When they fail to get what they want they resort to negativity.
What do negative people sound like?
Here’s what they say about themselves:
- It’s just no use!
- It’s going to be another one of those days!
- Nothing ever works out for me – it’s just my luck.
- I have absolutely no talent.
- Nobody likes me – I am such an idiot.
- I get sick just thinking about that.
- I don’t have the energy I used to.
- I never know what to say.
- Nobody wants to pay me what I’m worth.
- I already know I am not going to enjoy that.
- Bonus: If only I were taller, (thinner, prettier, stronger, smarter…etc)
Here’s what they say to you:
- That won’t work.
- I thought you said you could do it?
- You don’t know what you’re doing.
- I told you so.
- I can’t believe you did that.
- You shouldn’t have done that.
- It’s hopeless.
- Nobody really wants to help you.
- I think you should know . . .
- Why do you even bother?
When we hear information the brain decides if it’s true or not. Simple. Easy, right? Not always.
When we hear negative statements the female brain decides not only if it is true or not but we begin to try understanding what the statement means. We are wired that way.
Our brains spend more time on the negative statements than the positive ones. Sorting, ciphering, explaining, and choosing. This all happens before we act on what we heard.
Why is our process different than men’s? Emotions. We consider all angles. We are caretakers. We give second, third and fourth chances (even when it isn’t good for us).
We entertain who will be hurt. We are conditioned to believe our gut reaction is off base.
We question our strongest asset – our intuition.
Negative thinking, words and behaviors cripple our mind and spirit. It shapes our mental makeup. Here’s the choice only you can make. Will you allow anyone to be in your presence who complains, criticizes or nags (whining, too) constantly at every turn? Begin by taking small steps. The ‘anyone’ can even be your best friend (or former best friend), your sister or even your hubby. These can be extremely tough decisions.
Can you remove all negative people from your life? Yes. I did. You can, too!
I’d like to hear some words of wisdom from you. Please share your thoughts – thanks!
