Resilience: Become Teflon – No More Sticking

by Karen Keller, Ph.D.


How can you learn to let go of the past and move on.

Six simple steps to stop sticking to your past.

Things happen in our past when it comes to relationships. Whether they’re professional, personal or romantic, many times, when we end up in a bad relationship, it can be hard to let go even after that relationship ends. But it’s important not to cling to the past. Don’t let it stick to you and weigh you down when making decisions. Here are six simple steps to moving past a bad relationship and getting into some good ones. 

Step one: Recognize the reluctance. Before you can really overcome any past negativity, you have to learn to recognize any hesitation to move forward with something new due to experiences in the past. If you’re feeling apprehensive about something, decide if it’s because your intuition says it’s not right or because you’re scared of a repeat of the past. 

Step two: Acknowledge the pain. If you’ve decided that the reluctance is due to some past pains, it’s important to acknowledge it. If you try and shrug it off, it will always remain with you. If you look your fears straight on, many times they become less scary. 

Step three: Begin the unsticking process. No one overcomes holding on to their past overnight. It’s a process, so have a little patience with yourself. Address your fears one by one until you’ve peeled yourself off of your past.

Step four: Give your past a Teflon coating. If you don’t want to get stuck on the past again, you’ve got to make sure it remains nonstick. This means you’ve got to be honest with yourself and others and make sure that you’ve fully let go of the past. 

Step five: Stop looking back. Now that you can’t get hung up on your past anymore, you’ve got to stop looking back at it. It’s true that we learn from our mistakes, but if we’re always looking back, chances are, we’ll stumble quite a bit trying to move forward. 

Step six: Start looking forward. This brings me to the final step. Turn your head and mind to the future and start thinking about what could be instead of what was. You’ll find a lot more positivity and potential when you plan for the future instead of ruminating on the past.


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