I Hate Negative People and YOU Should, Too!

by Karen Keller, Ph.D. on May 18, 2010

What business do negative people have in your life?  Why are they there in the first place?  Because you let them hang around.  Could it be you hang around them?

What happens when you are surrounded by even just one negative Nellie? Your whole day, attitude, perspective, and direction changes – for the worse. 

Before you know it there’s a pattern that goes like this; “I know she’s negative but she has some good qualities, too.” Then; “I can fix her negativity.” Next; “She really isn’t THAT negative.” Lastly; “What? She’s negative?  I didn’t notice.” 

See what’s happening?  You are caught in a trap that soon becomes your story.  Picture the rat on the wheel in the cage.  Well, guess what? You are the rat.  Yuck!

Give yourself a break for good from negativity!

Allowing, keeping and listening to negative people is the worst thing you can do.  I speak from personal experience – decades ago! The negative person is childish at heart, low maturity level.  When they fail to get what they want they resort to negativity.  

What do negative people sound like?

Here’s what they say about themselves:

  1. It’s just no use!
  2. It’s going to be another one of those days!
  3. Nothing ever works out for me – it’s just my luck.
  4. I have absolutely no talent.
  5. Nobody likes me – I am such an idiot.
  6. I get sick just thinking about that.
  7. I don’t have the energy I used to.
  8. I never know what to say.
  9. Nobody wants to pay me what I’m worth.
  10. I already know I am not going to enjoy that.
  11. Bonus:  If only I were taller, (thinner, prettier, stronger, smarter…etc)

Here’s what they say to you:

  1. That won’t work.
  2. I thought you said you could do it?
  3. You don’t know what you’re doing.
  4. I told you so.
  5. I can’t believe you did that.
  6. You shouldn’t have done that.
  7. It’s hopeless.
  8. Nobody really wants to help you.
  9. I think you should know . . .
  10. Why do you even bother?

When we hear information the brain decides if it’s true or not.  Simple.  Easy, right?  Not always. 

When we hear negative statements the female brain decides not only if it is true or not but we begin to try understanding what the statement means.  We are wired that way. 

Our brains spend more time on the negative statements than the positive ones.  Sorting, ciphering, explaining, and choosing. This all happens before we act on what we heard. 

Why is our process different than men’s? Emotions. We consider all angles.  We are caretakers.  We give second, third and fourth chances (even when it isn’t good for us). 

We entertain who will be hurt.  We are conditioned to believe our gut reaction is off base.

We question our strongest asset – our intuition. 

Negative thinking, words and behaviors cripple our mind and spirit. It shapes our mental makeup.  Here’s the choice only you can make.  Will you allow anyone to be in your presence who complains, criticizes or nags (whining, too) constantly at every turn?  Begin by taking small steps.  The ‘anyone’ can even be your best friend (or former best friend), your sister or even your hubby.  These can be extremely tough decisions. 

Can you remove all negative people from your life?  Yes.  I did. You can, too!

I’d like to hear some words of wisdom from you.  Please share your thoughts – thanks!

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  • Inderpal

    I agree that negativity is contagious, and unnecessary, especially when you’re trying to bring about positive change in your life, but I’m not sure if I agree with the statement to completely get rid of all negative people around you – in today’s world, if you’re to do that, you’ll likely end up completely alone. For me personally, I think it’s best to deal with negativity by being aware, and recognizing it for what it is, and at the same recognizing that it has no place in your mind or thought. I believe eckhart tolle may have put it best in one of his books is to just be present and aware of the situation, without letting it affect you. I don’t think we can spend our lives running away from negativity around us, but we must learn to recognize it and filter through it to get to the positive.

  • Karen Keller, Ph.D.

    Great comment! Negativity is around but it doesn’t need to be the focus and the EXCUSE for not doing or BEING! Thanks for sharing!

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